Is NBTSC for you and your family?
Those of us who run NBTSC pretty much love it and think it's a great place (and are always seeking to improve it)--but we know it's not for everyone. It's never our intent to coerce people into coming, or mislead families into sending their kids. You are always welcome to call or email us if you're not sure whether NBTSC is a good fit for you and your family. Here are a few of Grace's general opinions:
NBTSC may not be a good choice for..
Families whose religious beliefs or values are such that the NBTSC environment could feel incompatible with them.
While we welcome people of all faiths (and lack thereof) and do what we can (within reason) to make everyone feel comfortable, we also recognize that certain aspects of camp may feel out of synch with what is important to some people. We have rules that we firmly expect campers to uphold (see our typical list of rules in a recent camper handbook), but subgroups of the camp community do tend to engage in open discussion about issues like sex and.... well, I guess sex is the main one that might be worrisome for some families. That, and religion and spirituality itself, and sometimes there's a generally questioning (but rarely defiant) attitude toward life in general. See "What parents should know about NBTSC" in our brochure for a little more on this subject. I don't want to give the wrong impression--everything under the sun gets discussed at camp, and the overall tone is friendly and fun, not sexual, and discussion focuses on how-to-create-world-peace and what-color-to-dye-one's-hair as much as it does on matters related to sexuality. I just want to be completely forthcoming on this issue.
Of course, there is a wide continuum of parental stances on this issue and others like it. If you fall way at the conservative end of the spectrum then we imagine NBTSC is probably not the best fit for your family. If you fall somewhere in the big fat middle, though, you may want to send your kids to camp but have a few heart-to-hearts on subjects important to you beforehand. And, you know, no camp is immune to sexuality. As a teenager, I belonged to a fundamentalist Christian church and attended its summer camp a few times. I had not before, and haven't since, ever experienced such a sexually charged environment. Even though few, if any, teenagers actually had sex with each other during those weeks, the overall tone was much more fraught with sexual tension than NBTSC is. You know, the forbidden fruit thing.
And, I do also want to say that while sexuality is sometimes discussed at camp, most campers are not sexually active (in their lives in general--not just at camp), and most of the discussion tends toward the thoughtful, with many people unabashedly proclaiming themselves not ready for sex. At any given session of camp there are usually a few intense romances, and there's a lot of physical affection, mostly of the platonic variety (which we on staff tend to think is healthy and positive, except to the degree that it contributes to germ migration), but we discourage people from focusing their camp experience on sexuality, and we have a clear rule about not having sex while at camp.
Younger teenagers.
If your kids are pretty young, don't have older siblings, and simply haven't had much exposure to older teenage culture, NBTSC might be a bit of a shock for them. On the other hand, younger campers often clump together and create their own sub-community.... and older campers tend to look out for them. We typically have a lot of 13- and 14-year olds, even occasional 12-year-olds, but it depends on the kid and the environment they're used to. For some, it might be best to wait a year or two. (If you're wondering whether your kid is ready for NBTSC, you might want to read our information and application for the families of prospective 12-year-old campers.)
Kids used to structure, not used to lots of freedom.
By this I mean teenagers who usually have a lot of externally-imposed structure in their lives, or who aren't accustomed to taking responsibility for the way they use their time. (Generally speaking, this may apply more to younger teenagers.) At NBTSC, very little is required beyond 2 group meetings each day. Pretty much everything else, from bedtimes to whether to attend meals to what daytime activities to participate in, is up to the individual. For most people this is one of the best aspects of camp. For some, it may be anxiety-producing and overwhelming. We're willing to work with you, and if you or your parents educate us about your needs and what we can do to support you, we'll do what we can. Sometimes an older sibling can be a grounding force.
Emotionally unstable teenagers.
Kids who may not be emotionally stable, or who have traumatic histories or who have at some time been suicidal, usually do very well at NBTSC, but in one case I wished that the parent (and perhaps camper) knew ahead of time a little more about NBTSC and could have either warned us about particular needs, or chosen to not send the kid to camp. So, to prevent similar problems in the future: NBTSC can be emotionally intense! Here's why: 1) It's a weeklong gathering of 100 or so teenagers who naturally form close bonds, and often experience attraction, rejection, jealousy, and many other uncomfortable emotions. 2) We don't enforce bedtimes, and some campers choose not to get a lot of sleep, and that adds to any instability that's already there. 3) Like in any other camp situation, people are away from home and in an unfamiliar environment, and 4) Some activities led by both campers and staff tend toward the realm of personal growth or therapeutic. In some workshops and other events, campers are invited to stretch themselves emotionally, reveal aspects of themselves they are normally secretive about, etc. Many people feel that these moments are among the best parts of camp. Occasionally, however, someone is overwhelmed by these experiences or their aftermath. If you're wondering whether this aspect of camp would pose a problem for you (or your kid), please contact us. As usual, there are probably a lot of things we can do to work with you if we know enough about your background and your needs. In extreme cases, maybe NBTSC isn't a good choice for you.
People who don't want to be there.
We actually state this as a rule, and not to be cute or clever. It is, perhaps, our most important rule. When people attend camp because their parents have pressured them to do so (or even merely because all their friends go), they typically come less ready to contribute and to benefit from camp, and that's not good for them or for us. It also helps if people come willing to proactively address aspects of camp that are not comfortable for them. For instance, if someone feels isolated due to her religious practices, political beliefs, appearance, interests, personality, or anything else, it's helpful if she's willing (with the help of a staff person, if wanted) to start a discussion, or a lunch group, or another form of solidarity and support, for herself and other people who might be feeling the same way.
People with current, active, uncontrollable addictions to illegal drugs.
We cannot and do not want to have illegal drugs (including alcohol) at camp. You are not welcome if you bring pot or other illegal substances. There's a good chance you'll get sent home if you bring or use illegal substances while at NBTSC.
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I'm racking my brain for whether there are other general categories of folks who might want to hesitate, or do further research, before registering for camp. I can't think of any. In 10 years I've only had 2 parents tell me that had they known more about camp, they wouldn't have sent their kids, but perhaps there are others who have felt this way and didn't tell me. To prevent possible mismatches in the future, as well as so that we can learn more about the range of effects our work has on families, we'd greatly appreciate hearing from--or about--anyone else for whom that's true.
Oh, I should point out that we have worked with only about 7 campers with disabilities, so usually when someone comes with unique needs we are facing a new situation and need to be educated as to how we can best serve you. But, we are more than happy to do our best in this regard, and in the past have felt that these partnerships were mutually beneficial.
Also, here is as good a place as any to report that one parent told me after NBTSC 2002 that her kids were shocked by some of the vocabulary that many campers used, and felt they had to be careful not to pick up terminology that would offend their conservative community back home. (She kindly suggested we warn families that "non-standard English" is often spoken.)
My personal assessment (of course I'm biased) is that while at most sessions of NBTSC there are events that would raise some parents' eyebrows, were they to witness camp, many of these parents would be more reassured and impressed by the positives (a remarkably warm, accepting, kind, inclusive, conscientious community of both campers and staff) than concerned by what they saw as the negatives.
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I'd love to hear feedback on this page in particular, from anyone who's part of the camp community. I really want to be as open and accurate as possible in the way that we describe ourselves.
Thanks!
-Grace
photo by Joe Denardo, 1998